Wednesday, July 31, 2019
It's been a long time since I wrote in here, and it's mainly because life has been reconstructing from the ground up for the last few years. Don't worry though - things are good now. What's been up, you're asking? Well I'll try to catch you up without being too boring.
First of all, Incrediboy, the darling and precocious baby in the beginning days of this blog, is now 15 years old. He is taller than me now, and I'm not short. I know, I can't believe it either. To make it even better, he is an awesome young man and I am really proud of him. He's a great kid.
I am sad to say that Most Beautiful Dog crossed the Rainbow Bridge in January. We were blessed to have him for 16 crazy silly years. In his last year he slowed down considerably, and one day he just kind of collapsed, frighteningly disoriented. I took him to the emergency vet and they found he had a mass inside his ribcage that had ruptured and he was bleeding internally. There was nothing that could be done and he was going to pass on his own, but I decided to help him along to ease any suffering he may be having. I held him and stroked his sleek body as he took his last breath. I miss him every day. Every moment.
I now have three beagles. Yes, three. I love them all, and the newest one in particular has been very healing as I have grieved MBDog. More on that lot in a few minutes though.
After 22 years together, 20 years married, the Hub and I split up a few years back and are now divorced. I will not go into detail about this, as it's really a private matter. I will just simply say we grew in different directions, and grew far enough apart that we couldn't find our way back. We have remained amicable and are successfully co-parenting Incrediboy. It was a hard time but we all have adjusted.
I quit my job. I hated it from the time I started but I gave it 2 1/2 years. I swear it shortened my life. It certainly poisoned the rest of my life while I was there (no, it didn't have anything to do with the divorce. That road was paved long before then). The company is successful enough that the owner is rolling in dough, but it is a shockingly mismanaged and unethical organization. Quitting was like being released from prison. What am I doing now? I'll get to that later.
My Mom, who had a stroke in 2013 and has been in assisted living, passed away Mother's Day weekend 2018. I miss her. We never seemed to achieve that same closeness like most mothers and daughters, but we did get along and had grown closer since Dad died, and I miss her so much.
In happier news ... I have recently remarried. It probably sounds really quick, especially since I just told you I got divorced a few lines back. But I have known him since 1986. We dated in high school and then went our separate ways, each getting married, having families, and building lives. He had been divorced several years when we got back in touch and I was in the process of reorganizing my life and filing for divorce. After an extended period of getting to know each other again and catching up on our lives and trials, we found we were still great together. He and Incrediboy like each other, and while his girls are grown and don't live with him, I get along with them as well. All important things. He had two beagles who also accepted me into the pack, so everything fell into place. :)
I make this all sound so quick and neat. It was not always. When I first filed for divorce I went to a lot of counseling sessions to gain balance and perspective and to begin healing. My counselor was very helpful and I respected and applied all of their guidance. It was the best thing I could have done for myself and helped greatly with my healing and progression.
My now husband (whom I will call Studsband - as he is indeed a handsome stud) and I got married in March and when we got back from our honeymoon launched our small engine repair business. It's something he has been doing on the side since high school, and upon talking about both of us being fed up with job dissatisfaction, we decided to go full time with it. What's the worst that can happen? We have to go back to getting jobs? There will always be jobs waiting. Time to chase some dreams, and so far, I'm happy to say the business is doing great.
To be honest, I would have married him when we dated the first time. We always had a remarkable connection and relatability to one another. We just met too young. I went on to have a life with a lot of love and fun mixed in with the struggles. But I can tell you that for the first time since we dated initially, I feel like I am exactly where I am meant to be and with who I belong. I am ecstatically happy and wish nothing but the best for the former Hub as well.
The third beagle just came into our lives about a month ago. She is a rescue, very tiny for a beagle and has clearly suffered some abuse. She was so timid and skittish when we got her. We have spent a lot of time gaining her trust and while she is still very cautious of the Studsband which makes me think the source of her abuse came from a male - because the Studsband is, while a tall and formidable man, such a gentle person - she is coming around. Her little personality is coming out and she is very sweet and so funny. I can't help but feel we were led to her. Healing for her, and healing for us. There will never be another MBDog in my heart. But there is plenty of love still to give to other puppers.
Well, that's the short version of what's been up. Why now, after all this time am I back? I dunno. I miss writing. I actually have been writing ... but not like I did here. Maybe I can find my way back to happiness here too.
So how have y'all been?