Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Never thought I'd see the day.

Seeing as I'm getting old and fat and can't drop a few pounds just by thinking about it anymore, I haven't eaten a donut in months. It doesn't seem to have made much difference ... I still have muffintop over my waistband and nothing fits right ... but perhaps I'm not expanding, at least.

But I digress.

My boss brought in a box of donuts today. Among them was a beautiful, perfectly proportioned, artistically glazed cinnamon cake donut.

I decided that, since it's been so long, I'd treat myself just this once.

It smelled heavenly. As I returned to my desk, I pre-emptively licked the glaze from my finger. My brain flooded with endorphines. I took a deep anticipatory breath and sunk my teeth into the sweet dense pastry.

It was disgusting.

The sexy flavors were all there. The cinnamon, the sugar, all the good stuff. But they were crowded out by something else.

Lard. Thick, smeary, gross lard. I could feel it coating the inside of my mouth, as if I'd taken in a spoonful of Crisco. Ugh.

I couldn't even finish it. I threw it away. I've since been trying to get the greasy film out of my mouth with scalding hot coffee and gum. But it's still there.

Never thought I'd see the day that I found donuts disgusting. I guess I've been away from them for so long that my body's cleared out the gunk and now says, no mas! But I never thought I'd see the day.

3 comments:

paintsplotches said...

Good for you...celebrate the day donuts became gross!

Coffeypot said...

Maybe if they had baked the damn thing. It's kinda like putting fresh paint over cracks in the wall - looks good, but just not right.

martie said...

damn Clewy............you could have shipped it to me. I would have eaten it. I also haven't had a doughnut in probably over a year now.............they do sound wonderfully edible right about now!

Hugs and sorry I didn't get to see your tatoo!