I once received this quote in an email: “Your thirties is when you finally get your head together, and your body starts falling apart.” Here are some cruel truths with which I have been yoked these past few years:
- Eventually, your body does stop defying gravity, and everything not attached directly to bone begins to move south.
- Time marches on, and you soon discover it's marched on your face. Never underestimate the power of a good moisturizer.
- You will discover (all too late) that you simply cannot sit Indian Style on the floor anymore without nearly crippling yourself.
- Making old-person grunts and groans while getting up from furniture becomes involuntary.
- If you do not regularly work on toning your body, your outer casing will slosh around your frame like Weird Al Yankovic's fat suit.
- Women can and do grow whiskers. Be on the watch. Find them before someone else does.
It's not all bad, though ...
- I still get carded. Not as often as I used to, but it does happen. And it's really fun to see Chip the Waiter's reaction to discovering I was born in the 60's.
- I no longer worry about hair, clothes, the latest eye shadow shades, or the hippest fashion. I have defined what makes me, me - and I'm good with that.
- While it doesn't happen as quickly as it once did, it's still fairly simple to get back in shape if I get out of it.
- While awkward and slightly uncomfortable, mammograms really aren't so bad.
- I have earned the right to share war stories with other people approaching middle age. And who doesn't enjoy complaining sometimes?
- My life is rich with friends, experiences, stories and lessons.
So, on my birthday this year, I decided that adding another candle doesn't make me older - it just makes my life brighter. Getting old isn't so bad.