Audial Fire Baptism

Lyric of the Day:

Ride to a place beyond our time
Reach for the edges of your mind
And you are there
See that the light will find its way
Back to a place where it will stay
Make it stay

Queensryche - Take Hold of the Flame

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It's been a while since I've felt or thought anything I deemed worth writing on. I've been in a place of self-reacquaintance at the bottom of my emotions. I've been far and distant from my muses this strange month or so - But I am feeling the tug to come back to writing. My thoughts are jumbled tonight, but they are there - I'll try to sort them out and hope they find a way into an order of sense.

I will say that recently I became keenly stressed at how disconnected I am with myself. In the process of life I lost me somewhere. I'm finding my way back finally.

As I have said on here before, my whole life I have always been about music. I do not play any instruments. My singing is not the best. But music has had such a deep meaning and effect on me always. I'm a music junkie, I've never been able to get enough. My joy in good times and a salve for any heartache. I have always turned to music. But during these past few years of difficult times, music has become muffled. And after J died, my passion-for-tunes soul sister, even music lost its power to soothe me. While I still listened to a few select artists or cds - in all, my world became quiet.

I had not realized how I missed it until recently.

Taylor Hicks, that cat who won American Idol, brought music back to me. I fell in love with his soulful voice - comfortable as a flannel shirt with just a touch of road rash - and being that he'd followed the musician's path forever I went on a hunt to find any possible independent releases after his win. In the dozen or so tracks of two previous releases, once peddled tirelessly out of a bookbag and now available to fans online, I discovered gossamer gold.

Based on these early treasures, please listen when I say this guy is touched by the gods. Once he's able to make his own music in the league he's now entering, his star will not just rise but rocket.

Sparked by his performances, unwittingly I have been rediscovering, recraving, the music that I'd walked away from. I have been hungering for new artists, reuniting with old, and am learning and remembering all I can about all kinds of great works. Resubmersing myself in music has had an effect on me. I'm being reborn through these songs. Music has a way of fusing itself to specific times, places, memories - so it's often a strange mixed bag. It's been a baptism of fire. It's sometimes sharp and spiny. Sometimes painful, but a sweet pain. It feels right, that I burn this way. I'm burning impurities away, and getting down to who I am again underneath.

Being that I'm all about music right now, I'm going to be experimenting a bit here. I have been thinking of posting a lyric of the day and just running with whatever it means or however it strikes me at the time. I have no idea what will generate, but this is my inspiration right now.

Thanks to everyone who kept up on me, checked in with me, prayed and sent hugs. I'm so glad you're still here, and I'll be back around to yours soon. Hope you enjoy this new trial run of entries.