Friday, March 14, 2008

Waxing, Waning, and Cleaning House

So, my cronies and I were talking recently, and the whole wad of us have seemingly lost our blogging mojo. In fact, one of us almost deleted their blog not too long ago, and another one of us actually DID, just today. That made me a little sad ... but I can't say as I blame her, seeing that, as it was put, she just wasn't feeling it anymore. Truth be told, I've considered doing the same thing myself, more than once, and for the same reason.

Not in every case, but it seems like so many people get into blogging for a year or two, and then just - to place it in a catchall phrase - lose interest. Some blogs get deleted, while others are merely abandoned, having a swipe of dust knocked off of it every now and then by the occasional visitor.

Why did I get into blogging? Those who've been around since the early years will confirm that even I didn't know that answer. Mainly because I was processing a handful of deaths and needed some sort of journaling outlet to help me sort out my grief. As time went on, my blog helped me rekindle my love of creative writing, and my posts flowed into a more narrative, magic in the little things, daily observations style - sprinkled with semi-fictional stories. And nearly always introspective, even if only obvious to me.

This blog has been a great tool of healing and growth for me. There was a time when I was posting twice a day, I had so many things to get out. Blogging was my biggest and most rewarding hobby, and I "met" wonderful, fascinating people I visited regularly and grew to love. Some have even become real honest-to-God figures in my actual life.

About a year or so ago, my inspiration for blogging suddenly fizzled. I now found it difficult to come up with anything to even talk about, let alone sculpt into an interesting metaphor of some sort. I waited, thinking and hoping that my muses would return. But they still have not.

Why have I lost my spark? Has this method of self-healing and creative indulgence served its purpose?

I thought of deleting this blog, but decided not to. Among the fluff and pointless spacewaste are a few bits of shine that I want to keep. Some I'm actually proud of. I could copy these things into a file so I could keep them - but I wonder if I'd change my mind one day and want this blog back. It's much easier to let a blog sit than to re-enter it (ha). But at the very least I've got an urge to put on my overalls and do some spring cleaning within my post files. In the next few weeks, I plan on doing just that.

If I delete a bunch of the stupid junk and leave only what I consider worthy of saving for something other than filler, maybe I'll be reinspired to do some good quality blogging again. Lord knows I want to - I miss it.

Many thanks to those who have been visiting me, riding along with me, and checking in on me even when I've taken long leaves of absence. You are a huge factor too in my decision not to delete my blog. I don't know when I'll get back to posting, but I'll continue to visit you, continue to pray for you, and continue to cherish your friendships.

I'm still here!


Coffeypot said...

I glad you are back and that you decided to say around. I'm also glad you didn't get a booger catcher.

My only suggestion to blogging is just to do it. You don't have to turn in a thesis. You are not being graded on this shit. Just say hello every now and then. Tell us if you got laid (you can grade that if you want too) or you heard something funny or someone pissed you off. No long elaborate pores. Just stuff! Trying to write the perfect post will burn you out faster than an ice-cream dildo will melt. And answer the people who comment. That puts you in the middle of you thoughts and makes you a part of their lives.

Tell us about the event you mentioned in your last post. Later, Clew!

clew said...

Coffeypot, you big silly! Haven't you been here before? ;)

Oh yeah, not when I actually used to do this stuff, right?

Thanks, buddy :)

Cheryl said...

Glad you're not leaving. I agree, just write--even if it's junk. I took everything down for a while, then put up only the better stuff. It did help get me inspired, so I highly recommend it if that's what it takes.

Cheryl said...

P.S. Not that you're capable of writing junk.

juanitagf said...

I left for about a year and am back. It is good just to get things out sometimes, even when it doesn't wax poetic.

Tracy said...

I am glad you are still here!! I just added you to my list of bloggers and I refuse to take Nelly out. I think it is good to blog. Sometimes it really is the only way to relieve stress. I love it when people vent on their blogs, I love it when they talk about the loves in their lives, and I love the ideas and all the wonderful things shared on blogs.
Thanks for sticking around!!!!

Christine said...

I've started and deleted five blogs in the past for various reasons. When it begins to be a chore, it loses its attraction. My peeps keep finding me which is is like coming home to old friends.

Lori said...

Don't delete! I think you are a very gifted, incredible writer...even in the 'ordinary' stuff.

People blog for different reasons. I started mine at a friend's urging..and I'm glad I did. For me it's like a journal and something I want to have for my kids one day. My goal is to print all my posts off so I can have a hard copy. I started this but stopped..and now I'm hundreds of posts behind!

Just know that you don't have to write awe-inspiring works. Just put down what you're feeling. And I guarantee, though you may not realize it, those feelings come out pretty amazing.

bigwhitehat said...

Creativity comes, goes, and changes direction. You just have to roll with it.

My own trouble is I have made too many blogging friends. Now I can't treat any of them well enough. My RSS reader fills up with 1000+ posts a day. I have to start cutting back.

I haven't posted much lately. I haven't had much to say.

Anonymous said...

Nelly here...I'm not completely gone. SEE! :D Love you tons sis!

chesneygirl said...

Well I'm glad you're not leaving... like CERTAIN OTHER people! *ahem*

Anyway, I come and go on my blog as well. Somedays it's fun, someday it's a chore.
Either way, I'll probably never delete it.


Martie said...

You damn well better not go for good! If you don't feel like posting.........don't. But if you delete it like's gone forever and someday you will be sorry, trust me on this one. Living to be 62 does add some wisdom, you know!

Love ya!