Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Christmas Countdown: Ornament #3

The Third Ornament of Christmas:
My Christmas Spider


One of my weird little fascinations is spiders. They are awesome - I have always admired their craftsmanship, patience and skill. They are truly one of nature's most amazing creatures. Imagine my excitement when I found this lovely little Christmas Spider ornament in the clearance section one after-holiday outing many years ago. Isn't he awesome? :D

I know what you're thinking. Spiders have 8 legs and this guy only has 6. I know, it's always bugged me too (pardon the pun). But since he has the anatomically correct two-segmented body, I live with it. After all, what says Merry Christmas like a shiny red and green spider?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas Countdown via Ornaments

My BFF Chesneygirl stole a great idea from her blogpal Onebrick, and is posting a photo of an ornament from her tree every day in lieu of "regular" posts during the scrambly holiday season. I love this idea and am going to adopt it as well. Which should be very exciting for my 2 readers I have left.

Like Cg, I have a hodgepodge tree - and other than the usual glass globes, each ornament has its own memories. Just for fun, I'm going to post two of them today. We'll call them the first and second ornaments of Christmas :).


The First Ornament of Christmas:
Peppermint Stick


This is Peppermint Stick. My Mom got him for me when I got my first apartment, because I have always loved bunnies. He is my official first ornament of my very own. Even during the years when I didn't put up a tree, Peppermint Stick always got hung somewhere - in a doorway, on a curtain rod, or from a string of garland. I love him to pieces! This year is the first year ever that someone other than I got to hang him up. Yes, Incrediboy did the honors. I must love that kid very much. :)


The Second Ornament of Christmas:
Santa's Boot


Admittedly, this boot looks rather pretty in this picture. But believe me when I tell you it's the cheapest piece of painted plastic crap that you'd probably ever set eyes on. I bought this and several other ridiculously chincy ornaments the first Christmas Hub and I spent together. We were super poor, having just bought our first house, and had a silly little 3 foot tree. I bought a bunch of cheap ornaments at the Dollar Store for 5 for a buck - just to have something to hang on our tree. We always said that after we'd settled and built our lives a bit, we'd throw out these cheesy plastic junky things and just hang nice ornaments. But I still hang this and all the others every year. They are part of our history, and part of our wonderful memories.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The OCD Tree

As I was putting up our Christmas tree this past weekend, I was thinking about how much my BFF, Naive, sucks.

You see, she's the awesomest memory maker I know. Every year she and her husband bundle up the kids, go traipsing through the gorgeous snowy countryside, and select the most excellent specimen for their Christmas tree that God's own hand has designed. She takes gorgeous, Currier-and-Ives-feeling photos of them all, hiking through the snow with bright smiles and pink, chill-nipped noses - hunting and posing with their glorious find, and hauling it back home through the snow. It's incredibly Norman Rockwell.

I, on the other hand, haul an old fake tree out of the basement, assemble it together with metallic scrapes and squeaks, spend hours trying to reshape the synthetic branches back into something that doesn't look like it's been in a box for 11 months, and ultimately spray it with Febreze to try and diminish the faint basement scent.

Personally, I think we have made and will continue to make great holiday memories - and to be honest, our tree really is a very nice, very realistic looking one. But compared to Naive, and especially since I always grew up with real trees - I feel a little stale about it. And the best part is, she's always doing crap like this. She's an awesome mom and a brilliant tradition upholder and memory maker.

In conclusion - she sucks, and so do I.

But I digress ...

The point I was originally going to get to, is that I have always been extrememly obsessive-compulsive about my tree. I blame my mother - she trained me to balance the spacing of the ornaments, evenly sprinkle the conversation pieces and the glass globes, place ornaments inside as well as on the outside of the branches in order to disguise irregularities and gaps in the tree branches, not put the same color or type ornament next to each other, and most importantly, NEVER glob up the icicles into bunches. I realize I can be highly annoying - er - persnickety about this ... but I can't help myself. I've tried to lighten up, but truth be known, Hub stopped helping me decorate years ago for this very reason.

The past few years, Incrediboy has been very into helping me decorate the tree. This causes me much internal stress (mainly because so many ornaments are breakable, but mostly because of my OCD problem explained above). But I certainly want him to begin building loving and fun Christmas tradition memories just as I did when I was little. So he's helped me the past few years, and I've later (sometimes only seconds later) gone back to micromanage the arrangements properly distribute the ornaments.

After coming to emotional grips with the untimely death of my favorite green glass frog ornament all over the hardwood floor this year - Incrediboy and I (and even the Hub) ended up having a great time decorating the tree together. Hub, understanding me more than anyone, whispered to me as Incrediboy busied himself, "You can rearrange the ornaments however you want later". He gave me a knowing smile.

When the tree was done, the boys wandered off to watch football and play with Lincoln Logs as I sat down on the couch and surveyed the tree. The top of the tree was evenly spaced and visually well-distributed. The bottom, however, was a little off. Sections as big as my head were bare, while others were piled up with several ornaments all together. One branch in particular, right in the front, had a large Daffy Duck, two glass globes, a cracker barrel store, a giraffe, and a backwards fox family, all clumped together. Two bare branches over was another, weighed down with a Santa-shaped bell, three more glass globes, a Lightning McQueen, a rabbit in a fur hat and a toy soldier.

My eye twitched rapidly as I stared at them.

Then something came over me.

This isn't the way I decorate trees, with big clusters of decorations all bunched onto one branch. But this, this is the way my little boy decorates. My little boy, who not long ago was a little toddler, and not long before that, a tiny baby. And not long from now will be much bigger, and perhaps much less apt to want to decorate with me.

I suddenly loved the traffic jams of ornaments sprinkled around our tree. I suddenly wouldn't change a thing.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Whew!

So I think I'm really done with Christmas shopping. And this time I mean it.

Incrediboy is certainly not going to be left wanting this season, though I'm sure there's something I missed. But geeze, I'm not made of money! Have you SEEN how expensive everything is?

Oh wait, I've already talked about that ...

Anyway, I found the last thing I was trying to find this morning. Some Bakugans. For those who don't have preschool to elementary school aged boys and girls, Bakugans are the new craze brought to us by Korean Anime. They are some sort of evil-world-fighting warriors that transform from spheres to creatures of various types and back again. There are trading cards and board games and all kinds of crap - it's a big marketing suckhole. Bakugan is on Cartoon Network right after Incrediboy's beloved Transformers, so naturally, he got sucked right in.

He asked for some Bakugans a few weeks ago, and ever since, all I've found are big gaping holes where Bakugans should be on store shelves. I've been watching on my secret weapon website, Amazon, but supply and demand has caused the prices to skyrocket. Target, Walmart, and all the stores' websites are also sold out. Ugh.

But today I happened by some Deka Bakugans on the Toys R Us website. The Deka Bakugans are softball-sized Bakugans, as opposed to the golf-ball sized gaming Bakugans. I was not only geeked because I think these will be much better for general play, but double geeked because they were in stock, and for a reasonable price! I snagged up a red and a blue one like a duck on a junebug.

Right after I checked out, both of them were switched to "out of stock" status. Whew!

It's a lot of work, pulling off this Christmas dreams come true stuff.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Rush

Yup, I'm still alive. Barely!

I've been trying to get a jump on Christmas shopping this year. I've been poring over flyers and looking around online for not only great deals but ideas in general. Everything is SO expensive! Stupid economy.

I was at Target last night looking around, with full intent of picking some toys up for Incrediboy. I became so overwhelmed by the smash of people and the racket and the sheer overload of everything in the toy aisle that I left without buying anything at all! And it's not even Thanksgiving yet! I'm beginning to think I might just buy everything from Amazon. Then it can be delivered right to my door and I won't have to go traipsing around, possibly getting into a fistfight with some supermom over the last Megarig Shuttle on the shelf.

I hate Christmas shopping.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Clew's Annual Cat Litter Cake Posting

Yes, kids, it's that time again ... Time for sharing the Infamous CAT LITTER CAKE for your next Halloween soiree!

There are many versions of this gruesome recipe. This is a new one I found this year that sounds FABULOUS! (especially if you like brownies - yum!)



CAT LITTER CAKE

Ingredients

1 brownie mix
1 can whipped sour cream frosting
tootsie rolls - small bag
1 bag animal crackers or Keebler Sandies shortbread cookies
a few drops of green food coloring
1 small cat litter pan (never been used - very important)
1 cat litter scoop (also never been used - also very important)
parchment cooking paper (or wax paper) to line the litter box

Make brownies according to instructions on the package. Line the litter box with parchment cooking paper, wax paper, or other lining material. After brownies are cooled, break into large chunks and place into cat litter pan. Spread frosting onto the brownies, making sure none of the brownies are exposed. Put some animal crackers or shortbread cookies in a baggie and smash into tiny bits with a meat tenderizer or rolling pin. Don't crush them into a fine sand, but into smaller sized crumbs. Take a small amount of crushed cookies and set aside in a baggie. Make sure you have enough crushed cookies to cover the frosting. Spread the cookies on the frosting. Take the amount of cookies that you set aside and drip a few drops of green food coloring into the baggie. Seal and shake up. Try to color all the chunks in this baggie. Keep adding more food coloring until most of the chunks have some kind of green on them. Spread the green colored cookie crumbs evenly around atop the other crumbs. Get a small saucer or microwave safe plate. Unwrap about a dozen (12) tootsie rolls. You will need more if you are using the miniature tootsie rolls. Place the unwrapped rolls on the plate and microwave for about 30 seconds on 50% power. Test the tootsie roll to see if it is soft enough to change the shape. If not, repeat above. Now pinch, twist, and bend your, um...., cat droppings (poopies) into the desired shapes. Place your newly shaped "poopies" onto the crushed cookies (litter). Make sure you have the infamous "poopie" caught on the side or hanging over the edge. Tuck the scoop into the cat litter cake and you're ready to roll!

This cake will get a lot of attention and surely win the grossout factor award. But if you can get people to actually eat it, they'll love it. A guaranteed hit, especially with kids!



Enjoy ~



Monday, October 13, 2008

Top 5 Things Learned at Blogarita 4

5.) How creamed corn is made.

4.) That some spiders are the color "clear".

3.) Using rum to make coconut pudding is very, very good.

2.) That running and screaming at the same time will probably make you pee a little.

1.) Watching your best friend run for her life through a cornfield from a guy with a chainsaw, and then subsequently nosedive into the dirt, is the funniest thing you'll ever see in your life.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Scenes from a Car

After many lovely sunny autumn days, today brought a tranquilizing pattering rain. Incrediboy and I were on our usual morning commute to preschool and work, and I was thinking quietly to myself how unusually drawn out the journey seemed this particular morning.

Incrediboy must have been thinking the same thing.

"Momma?"
"Yes?"
"It sure is taking a long time to do our drive today."
"Yeah, I was noticing that too."

He was quiet for a brief moment, and then concluded matter-of-factly,
"They must have built more road last night."

I love his little mind. :)

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Blogarita 4 !!!

So Blogarita 4 is coming up THIS COMING WEEKEND!!! For those who are new around my blog, "Blogarita" started up a few years back, when 4 blogging buddies (Naive-no-More, Chesneygirl, Curly-Que and me) decided to get together for a weekend of nonspecific shenannigans involving margaritas. Most of us had met at least one of the other of us before but none of us had been in the same place at the same time, so it was pretty exciting.

I don't think any of us really expected it to become the huge part of our lives it's grown to be, though.

While we all continue to get together in various combinations whenever we can (going to concerts together, quick lunches or dinners, drive-by howdys, etc.), it's become tradition to hold a Blogarita on a semi-annual basis, sometime every spring and every fall. Priceless memories have involved but have not been limited to:


  • Mass consumption of cocktails and food
  • Scrapbooking and scrapbook store shopping
  • Riotous games of Balderdash and Euchre
  • Saran wrapping people's mailboxes and garage doors shut
  • Self mutilation (ear cartilege piercing)
  • Scarecrows with rude last names
  • A variety of body noises
  • Crime scene photography techniques
  • Panther stealing
  • Dining at restaurants that close soon after
  • Buttcrack cake
  • Spiders in the car
  • Munchos and Bugles
  • Taking photos in pitch blackness
  • Cow tipping

I love you girls! Our memories are some of my favoritest of my whole life, and I can't wait to see what this gathering's got in store.

Click here for visual aids from Blogarita 1 - the start of it all. You know you wish you were us.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Stinky Dog


Most Beautiful Dog was out on the back 40 for his evening patrol when we noticed he was barking and carrying on. This happens on occasion, but what really got our attention was the pungent smell of either old burning tires ... or a skunk.

I went out with a flashlight to investigate and sure enough, MBDog was circling our flatbed trailer, giving a darling young skunk underneath what-for.

As my longtime blogging friends will recall, MBDog has been skunked twice before - and I always make sure I have the proper ingredients on hand to make a batch of deskunking shampoo. I went in the house to draw a bath and mix the potion.

By the time I came back out, MBDog was carrying the poor lifeless thing around in his mouth in a victory parade. :( Ugh. I was really hoping he'd just bark at it and not figure out how to get it.

I recruited Hub to help me get the critter away from MBDog and dispose of it while I hauled him in for a scrubdown. Along with the revolting stench, he was smattered with blood smears. Yuck. I got him cleaned up and tended to his wounds. The baby skunk's fighting demise made me sad, but MBDog was just doing what a hunting dog does.

MBDog is now fresh as a daisy and snoozing on the couch. I, on the other hand, smell vaguely of old burning tires, and decided this was a good time to remind my dear friends of my beloved lifesaving Deskunking Shampoo recipe, should it ever be needed.

  • 1 qt. of 3% hydrogen peroxide (the common drug store variety)

  • 1/4 cup of baking soda

  • 1 teaspoon of dishwasing liquid

(MBDog is a shorthaired dog weighing about 75 pounds, and this quantity is just about right for him. Adjust your quantities accordingly if you have a larger or furrier dog)

Mix all ingredients and use immediately. Wet dog's fur and lather in the shampoo mixture thoroughly and generously, taking great care around the face not to get it in the mouth, nose or eyes. Let mixture sit for 3-4 minutes, rinse. Repeat if needed. If desired, follow up with a bath of baby shampoo or other gentle cleansing soap - this will prevent skin irritation.

Hope you never need it!